What a cliche right? We've all heard the saying multiple times, in many different formats. You've seen it framed at Hobby Lobby, embroidered on one of grandma's pillows. It's been used in ad campaigns, and become the mockery of a lot of memes. But recently, it's something I have come to understand a little better, and it's not so cliche anymore, it's actually quite endearing.
I grew up in the midwest, living in Indiana for the majority of the time. I spent a brief year in Ohio, and then moved back to small town Indiana. Back to where my family was, and where everything was familiar, the place I called home. My safe place. The oven is always on at my parents, and growing up we always had a steady supply of baked goods. There were always fresh flowers somewhere. Either out on the lawn, or cut and arranged in vase. Summers were spent in the pool, fall was spent around a bonfire. In the winter we all stayed inside by the gas fireplace, and played hours and hours worth of UNO, and a couple of other board games. Spring was spent outside on bikes, in mud puddles, and the neighbors swing.
When I moved away, I thought that I could never have a home again, because those "things" wouldn't be there anymore. They would be hundreds of miles away, and kind of lost in a sea of memories. However, in my new apartment, there are fresh flowers, the smell of fresh brownies. I've got the Atlantic Ocean in my backyard, and my little dog Charley. A more mature summary of what I had as a child, but you know why it still doesn't feel like home?? Because of the people.
It's not about living in a picture perfect farmhouse on the edge of town, or the romantic sight of fresh linens drying on the clothes line. It's not fresh produce from your own garden, or that fantastic recipe of grandmas chocolate cake. And it's not the warmth of my favorite blanket, or the comfort of a fireplace. Home is family, and the people who love you most. It's laughing until your sides hurt and your cheeks are sore from smiling. It's crying together until 3AM talking nonsense and dreaming about the future. It's showing your love language to each other, and listening to each others concerns. It's late night runs to Taco Bell, and your favorite pop from a gas station for no reason.
Home is where the heart is, because ultimately, wherever the heart is, that's the place you'll find love. And it's in the knowing you're loved, that we find what being "home" really means.
And so I have a lovely apartment, full of beautiful things I have selected because they give me joy. But it doesn't have the heart factor yet, and so it almost feels like I'm living in someone else's house. Regardless, I had really taken advantage of what I THOUGHT meant "home", and I miss you all so very much.
I know that in time, I will create relationships here that will make me feel loved, and I'll be able to finally relax and let my hair down, but until then. Too my friends, thank you for all of the memories, and for all the heart that you guys gave to me. And too my family, I love you all so very much. I can't begin to describe the hole I feel without you guys. And I know in time it will heal, and I will find a new normal. But until then, I miss you, so very much.
Everyone has their own sense of what home is. Whether it really is just a place or a person, take time to appreciate that and/or them. We all need each other, and it's important that we all know how important we are to each other. Try not to take for granted the close relationships that you have, they are so incredibly precious.
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