Are you a dreamer? Or have you ever had a large goal that you’ve set for yourself? I’m sure we all have had some sort of aspirations in life, whether it’s romantic and fanciful or perhaps logical and responsible. I know for myself, I’m a dreamer. Always have been, always will be. It’s what gets me out of bed in the morning. It motivates me to work hard, and take risks. I still try to keep a realist perspective, and to not dream too far beyond my capabilities. But I do allow some exaggeration, because I need something to work towards, to achieve. Not just something that is already available to me, if I just move some things around.
I’ve always loved my ability to imagine what my life COULD be like. It’s fun to picture myself owning a lake house somewhere with a float plane tied down at the end of the dock in my backyard. Or to think of how my clothing shop would look, if I ever rented out that darling little corner shop space downtown. I love to think about what it would be like to travel full time, and live each week in a new city with a different culture and food. Taking thousands of pictures and gathering countless stories to recount to all of my friends and family. Thinking about those things brings me joy, and puts a smile on my face.
One dream I’ve had for a long time is to become a commercial airline pilot and just fly all the time. The sky has always been an escape for me, and there’s something about being in the air that I will never get enough of. It’s something I love, and that I truly want to do. And yet here I am, with barely 5 hours of flight time under my belt, and no money to pursue flight school.
Becoming an adult is tough. Life is hard, and things happen that are totally beyond our control. I had a very different idea for what my life would look like by the time I was 25. But it was a personal expectation I put on myself, not necessarily one that had to be achieved. I honestly thought by now I’d be working for an airline, with a condo in a major city I’m based in, traveling on the weekends in my free time, and saving a decent amount of money. I’m nowhere near that. And it’s not from lack of trying to get there, or because I’m lazy or unmotivated. I have done a lot in the last two years to try and get to where I want to be, but something inevitably comes up and I have to take a couple steps back. It’s been really discouraging honestly, and for a while I have felt stuck, immobile, and even doubtful, asking questions like, “Is this even realistic? Should I pursue being a pilot at all? Do I need to find another dream?”. It’s had me down for quite some time.
But here’s some truth that I have been learning. I have dreams, and they are attainable ones. Will it require some sacrifice and hard work? Yes! However, just because I am not closer to reaching them than I had originally planned, doesn’t mean it’ll never happen or that it is too much to hope for. It’s not from a lack of effort, motivation, or ambition that I haven’t gotten there already, it’s literally just because of life, and sometimes that’s the way things go.
Finances, relationships, debt, job changes, accidents, disease, the economy, in a perfect world all of those things would be in working order all the time, setup in the best way possible to allow me to get to where I want to go. But honestly, there’s a lot of stuff that is just out of my control, and that's the way it is.
So I am learning to come to terms with the fact that yes, I may not be where I want to be, and I am not obtaining my goals as quickly as I had intended too. BUT it’s not from lack of trying my best, it’s because life just kind of got in the way. And knowing that that is ok. Learning to shift my perspective and to not shoot myself down, or get discouraged about how I’m not where I want to be is so hard, but I’m trying my best.
I’m still dreaming, I am not giving up on the things that I really want to do, just sitting down with myself and sort of re-evaluating my timeline and readjusting to my current circumstances to help set myself up for where I want to be moving forward.
It’s hard. Especially since I put so much of my own happiness in what I want my future to be, trying to find things to make happy now is something I have had to be really intentional about. Dealing with setback after setback, it’s forced me to be more present with my life as it is now, and the relationships that are most valuable to me. There is a kind of grief that comes with not being where you want to be, and so some days I cry, I get mad, I just deny reality all together, but then I come back around, and just re-evaluate.
Life is all about eb and flow, I’m learning that more and more as I mature. And the only thing I can control is my reaction to what’s going on around me. And so this is me saying hey, that storm came out of nowhere and we got a little bit off course, but lets redirect our heading and press on, and if we come across any other storms, we will just sail our way through the best we can, and regroup on the other side.
If you’re feeling discouraged about where life is right now, or like you’ll never get to where you want to go. I understand. But that’s what friends are for, to be there for each other when things don’t work out and we become discouraged. There may not be much we can do to change it, but being present in each other's lives has been one of the biggest live savers I’ve ever had.
Don’t give up on your dreams. If you need to, adjust your expectations and maybe your dream will change slightly from when you originally envisioned it but that doesn’t mean you have to forget it altogether. I see you doing your best, and striving to get to where you want to be. Don’t give up, hope is just around the corner. All my love ~ Jon
You are young yet. Dream on.