A lot of life has happened since I’ve written last. Which I know has been quite a while. I’ve said before that I struggle with following through with my hobbies (writing, sewing, reading, etc.) because of ADHD I get distracted easily or get excited about new projects or ideas, halfway through a current project. So half the time, if I don’t just sit down and push through a project until I finish it, it either never gets done or just takes a lot longer to finish than I had originally anticipated.
And that goes for my writing too. I get excited or inspired by a thought or idea that I want to share my perspective on, but then it is quickly overshadowed by something else that seems more exciting. So maybe having a blog is pointless, but the times that I do feel inspired to write I really love it, and I always get wonderful feedback. (dedicated readers you know who you are)
To be perfectly honest though, I’ll tell you why I haven’t been writing recently. Honestly, if I’m being completely transparent here, I haven’t been doing much of anything recently. I have been so exhausted that I haven’t had energy to do much besides eat and sleep.
Too much has really happened to really go into detail, but my mental and emotional health have both been stretched to their limits recently, and I have been focusing all of my energy on trying to just get through it, that I haven’t had anything left to be creative with.
I’m not sure if this happens to anyone else, but I’m sure in some capacity everyone has felt stretched to their max. Like a rubber-band, and you feel like if you stretch any further you will just snap. Thankfully I haven’t reached my “snapping”point yet haha, but I’ve definitely come close. And every time that I feel like things have relaxed for a moment and I can take a breath and release, the floor falls out again and I have to go back to just keeping it together.
Frankly, I’m exhausted.
I have been able to find a balance though as far as managing my emotions and remaining somewhat creatively active. I started sewing again. I've really loved the projects that I have been working on, they’ve been so fun. And I’m finally writing again for the first time in ages. But it’s not necessarily because I’m in a healthy place right now, I’m just learning to manage everything a little bit better.
I have had a couple of new exciting things happen recently though. I bought my dodge challenger. I love it so much! It’s something that I have wanted for a very long time, and that dream finally came true, and honestly it is just so much fun. The other thing is that I recently accepted a new job with a different company. I will be transitioning out of commercial aviation and moving into corporate aviation working on private jets. I will be remaining in Cincinnati, just switching companies. I am really excited about this new opportunity, and feel like great things are in store moving forward.
I’ve been considering deleting most of my social media. It’s just become a source of anxiety and stress honestly for me recently, and I’m at a point right now, where I am trying to eliminate as much of that as I possibly can, but don’t worry I’ll be sure to let people know if/when I do decide to leave so I can stay in touch with the people that actually care enough to keep in touch, rather than just watch my life online.
I’m just kind of emotionally numb to a lot right now though, and when the time is right I’ll process and release a lot, but I’m just waiting for the ground to finally feel stable before I do. So here’s hoping I can get a mini vacation or something soon haha.
Anyways, sorry to just be so blah. I don’t really have anything positive or deep to say. But I guess, if you’re struggling with feeling like, life just doesn’t make sense. Like the ground just keeps falling out from underneath you. You’re not the only one. I don’t know what you’re going through, and you may be the only one in your situation. But just do your best to take care and be gracious with yourself. Life is messy, and it’s hard, and your feelings are valid.
So here’s to getting through it. To navigating the unknown and finally finding some stability again. I know we can find it, but it may just take some time. So talk to someone, express your grievances, don’t be afraid to admit you feel lost and don’t know what to do. You may just find the answer you’ve been looking for if you do. Alright well thanks for reading. I’ll be sure and write again…sometime haha, not sure when it’ll be. All my love ~ Jon
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